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Beata Pawlikowska is a well -known Polish traveler, writer, journalist and translator.
In addition, he also deals with photography and illustration of books.
Her account has many publications such as “Blonde in the jungle” or “Training of happiness” and cooperation/' target='_blank'>cooperation with many magazines, including “National Geographic”.
It can also be heard in many radio stations, and for her broadcast “World according to blonde” was even nominated for the Grand Press award.
Pawlikowska in many interviews and conversations told how much she went through in her life.
Patrycja Kazadi talks about endometriosis.
He also comments on Pawlikowska’s entry
Teen rebellion of Beata Pawlikowska and lack of self -acceptance.
“I didn’t like myself”
Beata Pawlikowska was born on June 11, 1965 in Koszalin.
As a teenager, she followed other trails than her peers.
she came to school, e.g. in pajamas or a hat made of an overlay for toilet
with a lack of self -acceptance.
In addition, Pawlikowska was struggling with nutrition problems.
In the magazine “Vita” she remembered how as a teenager she perceived herself and her body.
At high school, I thought I was fat and ugly and that I should lose weight.
I called myself with different epithets, I didn’t like myself.
I tried to lose weight, but the “strong” will was not enough for long.
In the evening I ate sweets and felt even more disgusting.
I hated myself for having such poor will, that I am stupid, not as cool as other people.
trip to London and nutrition problems.
Fighting with bulimia and anorexia
The journalist twice undertook studies in English and Hungaristics, but after some time she decided to interrupt her education because she decided that it was not for her.
As a 19-year-old, she went to London, where she wanted to taste a new life.
Changing the place of residence did not deprive the young traveler of problems related to the perception of her figure.
She still appointed further penalties, e.g. she made decisions to stop food and limit himself to drinking water from the tap.
This ended with excessive hair loss and a lack of menstruation .
In one of the interviews, Pawlikowska said:
When I was twenty, one day I decided that I would not eat at all.
And I stopped!
I only allowed myself to drink tap water.
I consciously inflicted suffering.
I wanted to be punished for being hopeless.
If I thought about what I do, I would have to admit that it is a pure self -destruction that cannot lead to anything good.
At some point, when the young traveler was teased by a lack of energy, which often ended with spending time lying without strength in bed, and additionally noticed the pallor of the skin and hair loss in excessive quantities, she decided to see a doctor.
As Pawlikowska admitted in one of the interviews, “she always wanted to be flat as a board”, and when she succeeded, she realized that she had become addicted to not eatingShe heard then that because of the emaciation and exhaustion of the body, some of her internal organs would begin to disappear if she did not start eating.
The improvement lasted only a few weeks, and Beata Pawlikowska finally fell from anorexia.
Gluttony – vomiting – gluttony – vomiting.
I felt that I was a slave to my body.
[…] After many unsuccessful attempts, one day, when I wanted to eat another portion of sweets, I listened to the voice of reason he said, shouted somewhere inside me: don’t do it!
You don’t want to do it at all!
You are not hungry!
Don’t eat because you’ll feel disgusting!
a traumatic event reason for suicide.
“He locked the door …”
In the program of Krzysztof Ziemc ” undefeated ‘Beata Pawlikowska gathered for a personal confession.
She told about the situation she tried to commit suicide.
When she met a boy in London, they talked about each other during a joint conversation.
The traveler revealed that he was writing stories, and he replied that he was also doing it and would gladly show her his written work, which was in his apartment.
I thought he would really show me his stories.
He showed me something different … He closed the door, raped me, and then fell asleep with a stone dream.
Pawlikowska after years admitted that it was a limit for her and then achieved a certain end.
She realized that in search of acceptance she was able to “go straight into fire.”
The growing star after this event and in the face of the emotions that accompanied her at the time, she tried to take her life twice. also in the “Niepębonani” program Pawlikowska cooperation/' target='_blank'>cooperation-documents-were-signed/' target='_blank'>for the first time told about a suicide attempt.
I decided to finish with myself.
I put on sleeping pills, wrote a farewell note and lay down on the floor.
Luckily, my mother had returned from work that day.
The next stage of her maturation was the addiction to meeting with men.
The journalist admitted years later that, as a young person, she confused the need for love with the need for sex.
Soon, Beata Pawlikowska developed a huge passion for traveling and discovering the world.
It helped her slowly forget about all the traumatic experiences of the past and feel your inner strength and value.
If in connection with suicidal thoughts or suicide attempt there is a threat to life, in order to immediate crisis intervention, call the police to the number 112 or go to the Emergency Department at the local psychiatric hospital.
If you need a conversation with a psychologist, you can use a crisis trust phone at 116 123. On liniawsparcia.pl you will also find a list of organizations conducting telephone duty specialists in the field of mental health, help for children and adolescents
or victims of violence.